Reconstruction or not

Well, I am a little lopsided at this point and there is quite the divot but I am alive and well.

I see the surgical oncologist and he takes me aside and says we need to talk.

I melt in fear of what he might be thinking.

He turns to me with all the compassion and warmth of any human being I have ever met and he brings up the unthinkable, the one thing I haven’t discussed.

He turns to me and says I am a young and vibrant woman with a lot ahead of me and that he would suggest I see a plastic surgeon for a consult.

I am flabbergasted.

I felt it would be too vain. I should be happy to be alive. It is just a breast.

I had dare not think it or even talk about it. I had been through surgery, chemo and radiation. I really had no sick time left as I used those days during my surgery recovery, the mediport insertion, the visit with the radiation oncologist, medical oncologist, surgical oncologist, PCP.

I hadn’t even considered it.

Now the thought does not seem so far fetched and I might, in fact, be interested.

The appointment is made and I return to Pittsburgh yet again for another visit. The doctor was more than pleasant, but our goals seemed very different.

I was told that I would need to take three months off of work, and I could just see how well that would go over after having had to take time for breast cancer.

I explained that I was really a pencil/ computer pusher and that I really didn’t have any thing heavy to carry or move, and yet I still would need to take three months off.