Published October 20, 2009 12:02 am - Cancer didn’t define me but it was me. I wore the face of cancer, I dealt with its heavy blows.
DAY 20: Breast Cancer Journal
By Sue Kilburn
Cancer didn’t define me but it was me. I wore the face of cancer, I dealt with its heavy blows.
People rallied around me or totally avoided me.
I was either the center of conversations or not in the conversation at all. People called and offered help who I didn’t even think knew my name.
Prayers were given and people would step out of crowds to offer words of encouragement.
I wore cancer everywhere I went, and then one day the cancer was gone and I had to search to find the person that I had become.
Anything that had been put on hold due to cancer had to be addressed. It wasn’t the same, but it wasn’t totally different.
I got back into the rhythm of life.
Issues and circumstances fell behind as I grew stronger each day, but I also found that it didn’t take much to throw me off that track.
An unthinking word, a passing thought, a twinge that would make me wonder, is it me?
Is it back?
The days go quickly by and slowly people fade back out of my life that came forward at the time of need.
I no longer wore cancer.
I was not easily identified by my illness that was not gone. I was just like everyone else out there, trying to survive the best I could.
I am more daring and, heaven forbid, more outgoing.
I am more circumspect in my thoughts. I step guardedly around those who are dealing with unresolved issues so as not to give the impression that I wear a cross. We have all had problems, issues, concerns and life-altering things that came our way.