Published October 12, 2009 05:09 pm - Hmmm, food used to be a big diversion for me, it was my friend and support but with cancer it no longer gives me the comfort it once did.
DAY 10: Breast Cancer Journal
Hmmm, food used to be a big diversion for me, it was my friend and support but with cancer it no longer gives me the comfort it once did.
Music, ah yes, I love music and I do listen but pick out the instruments, the beat and get more involved in dissecting than listening.
Reading that would be it, reading has always filled me with support, comfort, words of encouragement and laughter as well as tears, no I cannot focus — the words slide in and out.
What was that last chapter about, who is the character?
I am lucky if I can concentrate long enough to laugh at a joke in the Reader’s Digest.
A dear friend comes over and since I am to be a new grandmother, she feels that it would be good for me to knit a pair of baby socks.
Now that is diversion!
Have you tried to knit with four needles about the size of toothpicks?
My friend would patiently sit beside me and say the next few steps to do and I would complete one and look back with the blank stare and ask her to repeat it — again, and again, and again until nausea would set in.
The harder I tired the worse it got and I felt so stupid as to not be able to retain those directions for the seconds it took to put them into practice.
We worked on several different occasions to make this dream come true and for a diversion during this period of my life.
I even became so brave at one time as to attempt some of the sock on my own. With mounting frustration after a period of futility, I sat the knitting down.
MY MISTAKE!
When I came back the next day, I could see I had dropped stitches and in my feeble attempt to fix it, had made the whole thing worse.
In total frustration, I sat it down and walked away crying, vowing to never attempt this project again and whatever I had completed I would put in a frame and send it down as a gift as Grandma’s efforts for the baby.