Everyone, I've fixed your online dating woes!
Wired magazine assembled a number of infographics this month of what makes for the most attractive online dating profile. It even included a list of the most appealing words men and women used in their profiles. The only trouble is how to work the key words into sentences. The rest of it just comes together by magic.
Men who used "whom" got 31 percent more opposite-sex replies, regardless of how they actually used it. Women who called themselves "girls" got more replies than those who didn't. It's all a science, really.
Based on what Wired said, I have concocted the most appealing online dating profiles of all time, using as many buzzwords as possible in as few words as I can. Context, shmontext - these are based on data! Feel free to use these in your "About Me" to attract a mate! True love, doubtless, is right around the corner, like prosperity in the Hoover era.
I spend all my time away from London and New York City, surfing the Internet to post hateful comments on athlete forums, and intending to do yoga.
I am often wasted at the office and have to be driven away by foodies for acting like Archer. My philosophy? Let models work out; my passion is laziness. Fitness? I call that "lucky physics."Creativity? "Charmed meditations."Europe is over the ocean, and maybe there's sushi there? My homeland is New York, and I don't feel anything for Radiohead. Sometimes I fashion pulp fiction meditations, girls!
I love surfing the surf - it's like skiing the ocean. Let's do yoga, whom.
I have a large collection of teeth. After mating, I gather passports (only those with blue eyes) to use in my confidence work. Who has time for retirement?
I like to take photography of my breakfast. I am awful at tennis. Things I hate with a passion? Weddings, teachers and puppies.
I have never been to London. I hate flying. Also kissing.
The best part of mornings is chocolate.
I don't have a lot of confidence, but I have a large collection of teeth and passports. One belonged to an athlete with blue eyes, whom I found in the ocean, or oceans, when I was hiking on the beach, covered in chocolate, taking stealth photography of strangers' weddings and enjoying the live music. (Ah, mornings!) In retirement, I will obtain many tattoos.
When we are kissing, my meditation will be about breakfast.
When I was a kid, I put puppies in trees. I said I wanted to see puppies flying. My teachers shuddered and said I would never find a nonfiction companion for passion and mating. My attractiveness is comparable to that of a workaholic flying to London. There is no skiing or surfing there. Or surf, for that matter.
YOGA YOGA YOGA YOGA.
Everyone, I've fixed your online dating woes!
Weekend festival at Pymatuning takes you back in time
Want to party like it’s 1799? This weekend’s Pymatuning Pioneer and Art Festival on the shore of scenic Pymatuning Lake is the place to do it.
Emmy nominations: 8 snub shockers
A lot of beloved shows and stars got Emmy nominations on Thursday morning but there were definitely some snub shockers.
Once-small Townville Old Home Days now a summertime staple
Frog jumping, outhouse racing and beauty queens are just a few of the events in store for participants of what has become a Crawford County summertime tradition: Townville Old Home Days.
Custaloga Town French and Indian War Encampment set to take you back in time this weekend
Coordinators of the ninth annual Custaloga Town French and Indian War Encampment believe this year’s event will have all the historical thrill of its predecessors and more with the addition of an exciting new feature — visitation from members of the New York-based Seneca Nation of Indians.
Thurston Classic memorabilia purchases assure event remains in Meadville annually
Buying a Thurston Classic shirt or hat helps keep hot air balloons flying over Meadville at no cost to the public, according to officials of the Classic.
Regional Juried Photo Exhibit opens Friday night in Meadville
Meadville Council on the Arts' Regional Juried Photo Exhibit opens Friday the Heeschen Gallery (second floor of the Market House) and runs through May 24. The photography show features photographs from artists living with 250 miles of Meadville. The public is invited to a reception on Friday from 7 to 9 p.m. when the awards will be announced.
Robo-repeat: Cochranton tops at RoboBOTS
As the final metal-grinding match of RoboBOTS 2014 sent the last sparks of battle into the plexiglass arena, Cochranton High School made history by becoming the only school to take home the first place trophy in two consecutive years.
Hunter Hayes headlines Crawford County Fair 2014 on Aug. 16
Country music performer Hunter Hayes, accompanied by guest stars, will be the first concert act to hit the stage at the Crawford County Fairgrounds on Aug. 16 at 7 p.m., as announced Friday morning by the Fair Board.
Gifts of Gratitude offers gift of chamber music
Imagine a lunchtime conversation between long-time friends — communicating like crazy, catching up on their lives and the lives of others, bringing in slices of all sorts of unrelated topics and changing direction faster than the speed of light. Now imagine that conversation taking place without words.
Jamestown native part of Syfy reality series 'Jim Henson’s Creature Shop Challenge'
Jamestown native Russ Adams used to believe some of his biggest claims to fame were the appearances of his animatronic monsters in foreign indie films and Jimmy Fallon owning one of his studio-made werewolf masks.
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